Today I dedicate my joy to raindrops. Let's call them, Joydrops. I was out running errands and saw the sky turning grey in my rearview mirror. But I had no fear. I kept my eyes forward and the clouds only burst when I was safely inside. From this vantage point, I could enjoy the serene beauty of rain.
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This morning I dragged myself out of bed in a pre-dawn hour to get to a doctor's appointment. I didn't want to act joyful at that hour, so I allowed myself to be in the state I found myself-half asleep and groggy. *DING* a mini moment of joy in self acceptance.
I entered the office with the intention of not accepting any drug prescriptions because I know my mind is more powerful than my body, and I thought I could fix myself-silly ego. At the current moment, and entire preceding week, I let my mind give into childish thoughts and my body suffered. It was visibly clear to the doctor who shared with me what he saw. He saw the potential that I could cease struggling and be radiant. A total stranger recognized my distance from joy and honestly cared that I return to it. Thats when I started believing in his medicine. I also began to see the truth in the statement that, 'you can't find yourself by yourself.' Swallowing the pill physically helped me transform my ego mentally. I chose the path towards joy, and the rest of my day was joyful. *DING* My Joy peaked when I saw the clouds arrive at 3 pm. I had been working under the sun in the lettuce field all day; weeding and planting. I noted in the morning that it was a cloudless sky. We seem to get lots of those here in the Central Valley. The entrance of faint whispy clouds in the north allowed me to exhale deeper and fully rest into my free time in the shade. Westbrook Brewery, Mount Pleasant, South Carolina. My sister and I received a tour from Morgan, the bubbly Owner/Marketing Manager. Inside the oak room, at a comfortable 72 degrees, Morgan revealed her age by referencing Captain Planet. Carolyn and I exchanged a glance, maybe a laugh that said "I love that show!" Morgan even shared her favorite character, HEART!
Today I learned a path to creating Joy while fleeing fear. My situation is that I'm mildly injured and feeling weak. My thoughts easily slipped into a downward spiral when I laid down to sleep, alone. With no one around to sooth me externally, I'm thankful I was cognizant enough to think to seek help within myself. I called out to Jesus to be with me and comfort me. I felt his presence, and I still wanted more. Tara floated into my vision, hovering above a still body of water. Thats when I recognized that the light of Jesus was only one position on the medicine wheel of my guardian angels. He is Fire in the East. Tara is Water in the West. This was a five alarm emergency that required all hands on deck. I looked to the west for an angelic guide to the Earth kingdom. She emerged tall and strong like a warrior, glowing like Archangel Michael, and compassionate like Brigit. I know this woman as my faery counterpart, and this was the most glorious she has ever presented herself as. My circle of refuge would not be complete without a guardian in the North; my Air of ancestral knowledge. The best fit in that moment was Grandmother Moon herself :)))))
I closed my eyelids softly and felt held in each direction my body shares with Earth's body. I breathed into the warmth of unconditional love. My breaths deepened, my heart rate slowed. My vision of a bright future resurfaced. Feelings of gratitude and awareness of joy returned. My guardian angels bowed and receded into the mist. Dream world took hold. Woke up fresh. Prior to starting this blog, 'my joy' was not a catch phrase in my everyday speech. It really only started as a tag for these blog articles to differentiate them from my entries musing about farming-because my brain thinks thats important. Knowing that I am one to get attached to silly sayings as a way to shift or boost energy, it shouldn't surprise my that 'my joy' is now a common part of my lexicon. Today in fact, I used it twice to communicate my expanding joy. First, it was to relate how good my outfit made me feel. I was wearing my new yoga pants in public for the first time. The risk was not in the tight cut, but rather in the loud colors and pattern. It filled me with high vibrations and I was excited to share that with my yoga students. As an illuminator of the path of self-knowing, I feel it is my duty to show these seekers what the advanced practice looks like; radical acceptance, unconditional love, freedom, joy, and bliss flowing as true nature. I'm not afraid to share my success either. Proud and Loud! Accepting my love of crazy colors brings my self into closer alignment with my true nature, which facilitates sharing of that truth with my yoga students. The best service I can do them is to have the courage to be myself. And speak up when I really want a banana split ;) That was explosion of joy #2-the third bite into a freshly prepared penultimate cold dairy dessert. On the third bite, you get a balanced mouthful of each delightful topping and flavor sensation that feeling anywhere other than heavenly is impossible. Moreover, pausing and recognizing how lucky I am to easily and safely get myself to an establishment that can prepare this meal fast and efficiently positions me with more opportunity for fulfillment of this desire than 90% of the beings on earth. And I ask, how can I share this feeling? What is the responsibility carried with this great freedom?
A very special day, my inaugural workshop on Communicating with the Nature Realm was a planetary success! I feel I can attribute most of the beauty and ease in the 90 minute class to the centering meditation for grounding and protection. It's my favorite timeless classic of meeting the four elements.
Sunlight filling our spirit being and illuminating our hearts. Our physical body extending to meet the Earth in her core. Opening our emotional design to the flow of water and the surrendering to her feminine ways. Falling silent into the air, and listening for the invitation to receive the wisdom of our ancestors. This evening, I had butterflies in my stomach. Ones so big I felt like I was about to meet my soul mate. In a way, I did. I voiced my soul's purpose among the 7 other spirit seekers in my shaman circle. It felt very liberating to speak my truth and be honest about my grand vision. In a sense, it was freeing myself from the isolation of my own thoughts. I equate Freedom with Joy. Freedom is one of those elusive words that the harder you seek it, the further it feels. That's part of the purpose of this blog; to stop pursuing moments of joy, and bring awareness to the fact that Joy is my natural state.
On freedom, today I also read an angel message from a Buddhist monk, "Why do we look for love outside of ourselves, when we are love? Why seek freedom, when you are already free? If you want peace outside of yourself, end the war within." I can apply this to my life by ceasing ego-based thoughts of judgement, guilt, and shame towards myself, and bringing awareness to the channels of love, freedom, and peace that are always present within me. The only thing blocking your natural state of Joy, is an artificial state of fear. |
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