This morning I dragged myself out of bed in a pre-dawn hour to get to a doctor's appointment. I didn't want to act joyful at that hour, so I allowed myself to be in the state I found myself-half asleep and groggy. *DING* a mini moment of joy in self acceptance.
I entered the office with the intention of not accepting any drug prescriptions because I know my mind is more powerful than my body, and I thought I could fix myself-silly ego. At the current moment, and entire preceding week, I let my mind give into childish thoughts and my body suffered. It was visibly clear to the doctor who shared with me what he saw. He saw the potential that I could cease struggling and be radiant. A total stranger recognized my distance from joy and honestly cared that I return to it. Thats when I started believing in his medicine. I also began to see the truth in the statement that, 'you can't find yourself by yourself.' Swallowing the pill physically helped me transform my ego mentally. I chose the path towards joy, and the rest of my day was joyful. *DING*
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Food. It's easy to overlook the joys in such common and necessary activities such as eating. But that's the real secret, joy can be uncovered in every moment. Once I really accepted the idea that my body is a temple (rather than thinking it was a cheesy mantra for weak people), my food choices because more important. As my diet improved to include more raw and fresh foods; my natural energy levels increased, digestion was smoother, and mental outlook balanced. Then I adopted a nourishing way to eat, and my access to joy expanded exponentially! Now, prayer before a meal fills me with gratitude and reminds me to slowly savor each bite. Drinking lots of water throughout the day shows my kidneys that I appreciate their unconditional efforts to push toxins out of my system. Even if I had absolutely no possessions, I could still vibrate in the essence of gratitude for the service of my internal organs. If your organs don't work well, consider it a fire alarm to signal that your body feels unloved and requires more healing intentions. You CAN use each meal as an opportunity to feed your body and mind healing intentions and self love.
Am I supposed to say it's my birthday? 2014 has been full of joy and today was super saturated. I tried something I have never done before-a yoga class with a new instructor at a new studio. It was my treat to myself. My birthday was not always a source of divine love. I used to punish myself for failing to reach expectations like a birthday party with 20 friends or even a few special words from a special person. I didn't take responsibility for holding up my own mirror to say, "I'm awesome. I love being me!" Fast forward to now, Making myself have a great day is my number one objective. This means prioritizing the activities and awareness-es that fill me with love and joy. This birthday yoga class turned into a synchronicity telling me to return to this place. First, I received a $4 discount for being a yoga teacher. There was a free seated 12 minute meditation after the class, which rocked my world. While chatting with the owner on my way out, she gifted me a token to return for a free class-and I didn't even tell her it was my birthday! It was not the other worldly coincidence that makes you question reality; more like an angel reaching down to say, 'Keep it up! We support you.' Running. Challenging myself. Feeling the burn in my sides and telling my body that it can keep going. Gasping out that, ‘I want to give up!’ The verbal release of frustration and vulnerability felt so right in that space as I rounded the bend, destination in sight, but still so very far away from where I felt in the moment. I don’t consider myself a complainer, and I don’t like to send out vibrations of anger or pain-mostly because I don’t want to magnify them in my own being. Then why am I even writing about this? Well, that’s exactly it. I surprised myself at how I reacted in a new situation. Fortunately, I was able to be patient and gentle with myself as well. In the clarity of suspended time between my strides I was able to see my exclamation as a truth-telling. I do consider myself to speak my truth. And if my body says, ‘help!’, I let her speak. I was hoping my running partner would answer with a motivating urge to push through it, instead, my intuition answered back, ‘you want to, but you won’t!’ And I felt comforted that it’s okay to admit things that my body wants; because I know that my heart holds the greater intelligence. It’s more about being heard than being right. I’m newly aware that my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual bodies deserve equal respect as collaborative partners in the spectacle that is my life. |
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